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So here it is
Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone ?
If yes than you know how intense the last couple of minutes are
Here is a better example
Have you ever been in school waiting for the last bell on Friday?
It always feels like it just takes too damn long.
Well here I am waiting for the bell to ring.
My frenemys see I'm leaving so now I get to see some true colors.
I should have figured that just like I should have figured these ass holes
would decide to fuck with me just a little bit more.
It's a severe pain to have to take shit from people, I just hope
the other parties in the exit plan knew how it's going.
Instead they leave me in the dark
So now I sit and my brain goes in circles.
Just more fear of false hopes, and backstabbing.
This is what happens when your privacy is invaded over and over again.
This is what happens when your trust is violated over and over again.
This is what damage is this is how dysfunction grows.
This is how loners and shut ins are made.
Just in case you didn't know.
So I will stay in this pressure cooker of bullshit.
until I can get out
For the sake of my future I hope it's sooner than I cold hope for.
Until next time
Paca bitches Paca
"Have you ever been in school waiting for the last bell on Friday?"
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if too many of us continue to wait for the last bell on Friday - for the rest of our lives. And yes, this is very common for those of us who have grown up in dysfunctional families.
Our childhood death of trust marks our bodies and makes it hard to recognize good people when they finally appear on the scene. You know, the kind of people who accept you for who you are, even if they do not understand you completely.
Which is why it is so important to talk, and write and make sense of it all.