Wow what an odessy.

 I left you with the news of my new relationship, and some of our sexual habits. 

Well that ship crashed onto the rocks and burned. I would never recommend dating someone who derives pleasure from emotional pain, and manipulation. 

I've had one of the worst periods of my life in the last year. I allowed myself to feel the pain and humiliation of infidelity, on a side note she tried to come back to me with another man's baby, that was a hard no. In all honesty it wasn't so bad. She made me miserable with her cheating her lies and her"I'm not a doctor" borderline personality, and her narcicissm. 

My truck I manifested caught fire, I have all the parts it's now a project. 

I lost my job, at first it was tolerable, but then it turned toxic. The new manager they hired had a clear policy of nepotism, and divide and conquer. So once again good riddance or as some of my friends would say echale motherfucker. On another side note he fired the office lady who got all the contracts and hired his wife. 

My Grandfather died. A grandfather is a person's best friend. 

I had to put down my dog, that's my other best friend. 

But after all the pain comes the growth and the joy. I spruced up my resumae and got a job. My second day at the job I got forty hours and and a raise that put me near what I was making at my last job. Just no human shit or shitty humans to mess up my day at this job. 

I got back on the hormones. Low dose of course, my depression has receded and I'm able to think clearly now. My skin is softer and I smile more. Dont worry my balls still work. 

I've found a clear career path. One year of study gets me a state job, with a decent salary. Two more units of study get me an R.N., which gets me a job anywhere at a decent salary. 

The only thing missing is the spirituality I've been missing.  A friend told me before I left Israel that after a while I would go numb spiritually. I feel it I feel the lack it's like I've been cut off. My question where do the people in between go to pray ? Who loves them ? The Saris the Aylonit the Tumtum where do they pray?  I'm sure I will find the answers. Until then its another opportunity for discovery and growth.