Monday, May 30, 2016

Damn Its been awhile.....

Well From where I left off many years ago"three"

                                       Got another g.p.s opinion I'm full blown transexual.
Dabbled with some hormones first the herbs than the glands than the chemicals,
Of course I stopped even though the Hormones did make me feel mellow or not anxious.
Now I have a girlfriend and in two days were gonna move in together. She knows everything
about me, So we play soetimes she brings a rubber friend sometimes she makes me give lap dances.

                    Happy to say i have found a balance that works

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What does it mean when a girl says your adorable.

So yesterday I drove my mom's boyfriend to court.
It was a very long and boring process. Nothing like what I saw on the media.
There's no arguments no testimony no gavel. Just a big bore fest.

After that we went to see J____'s cousin.
I'm not gonna lie She's hot pretty damn close to a ten, and she has a very kind bubbling personality.
We sat there last night getting buzzed spinning yarns about our childhoods.
So here it is I'm so adorable. Now there is a search going on they want to find a girlfriend 
for me. Well crazy old me I love the idea. The truth is my very active labido has been leading me to some interesting actions. Some days I'm like an A 10 going on one hell of a run. Thats specifically when I have a wing man. Thats when i'm cool. Hell on those days even the guys"gay ones" wanna chat with me.
Of course I don't really have gaydar so I don't know until someone points it out to me most times.

Other days i'm in ninja mode don't look at me don't speak to me,
I don't exist. 

Here's my problem I really have a fear of intimacy.
It could be related to some peoples parenting methods, here are some of the mantras from my childhood:
If a girl says no it means no or else you will go to prison.
If you ever get a girl pregnant and leave her I will puncture your lungs and drop you in a lake.
Your grandpa had a big dick I don't know what happened to you and your father.
you don't touch a girl unless she says yes or you will get in trouble,

Of course all that happened before I ever had any religious stigma.
The whole if you spill your seed G-d will cut you down
and everything else that goes with it.

And here is my favorite Just thinking of him makes me want to barth.

That last one was in the third person it was from the first courtship I tried in middle school.
I thought I was doing well but I guess appearances were more important than actual likes.

As far as my member goes it's a nice average size of 6 3/4 inches  when standing
so it's not allot but i'm sure it could get the job done. I'm a grower not a shower

Though lately allot of older women have been after this dick.
I wanna give it to em but I'm afraid, and I really don't know how to work through it now.

So yes I may be adorable but i'm also very troubled and I have no clue on how to 
unlearn all this dysfunction and figure out a way to enjoy this part of my life. 

So maybe one day I'll find it maybe some of you can make suggestions 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Yom Kippur and music and other stuff

I've really been listening to this album a lot on my ipod
"yes I finally got an Ipod thanks To my moms ex girlfriend" She even gave me a really cool blanket.

It really makes the ambiance of my life come together now.
Driving home after a graveyard shift  I think the sound is perfect for winter. 
I think it would be a great soundtrack to a bedroom romp as well.

Right after yom kippur I got a good sign I was guarding a party.
When it was time to leave I found a pair of panties under my windshield wiper
The only thing of note I really did was bust some hopak"cossack dancing "
I think it's a sign that G-d or some chick has interesting plans for me this year.

Who knows maybe fried fish and champagne
Maybe a spring fling.

Being that the Jewish new year has passed. I have to make a bucket list of things to do this year.
There is always the usual stuff you know:
quit smoking
Lose weight
make more money
learn something 
then of course there are my usuals
lose weight
find a pair of heels or boots not meant for strippers or drag shows
"big feet big problem"

The truth is my only disappointment from this 
new year was not being able to find the Rabbi or the synagogue.
After looking for them both for about a good four hours, it made me ponder about some things
here is what i believe to be the best of what I gathered
"The Rabbis have everyone hyped up on this third temple.
Where as I understand we have it pretty awesome today.
There is no conduit no cohanim no animals.
All the services of the beit hamikdash are done in the heart they are done in the mind.
It's uncut connection 
through prayer and meditation every Jew can be the Cohan Gadol  
Every Jew can offer incense bread and animal to G-d"
But I did fast so I think i'm good 
In the end It's all the same i'm still just hoping for acceptance,friendship,romance,Fortune,mazol,
and maybe those shoes,and a vagina 

well Until next time paca my friends paca

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I was high yellow until......

My Mom got a job as a inhome care taker.
Her client is a double amputee half paralyzed by a stroke.
Her client worked her whole life to raise her son all by her lonesome.
Her client spent nearly twenty years living in the same house.

Her clients landlord is a real gem
leaking pipes not their problem. Broken heater not their problem.
Black mold not their problem. Wiring flaws not their problem.

Now my mom in many ways is like That clint Eastwood character,
she see's a problem she see's the weak and the sick being messed with, so
she does the right thing no matter what happens
here are a few examples:
Drug dealers training a dog to be vicious, she steals the dog
and then me and my brother become targets.
The union at work is ripping everybody off, she makes some noise and gets put in searchlight
Her company is trying to screw someone out of their pension, She testified in court on his behalf
and lost her job.

Now back to the landlord. My mom starts barking up the tree for repairs.
So the landlord calls their lawyer and start filing false complaints to intimidate us .
Me and my brother turn into drug dealers and my brother is now my moms black boyfriend.
Next thing you know the cops barge in and do a welfare check on the client, not only do they check the client they disrespect my mother.
Next One afternoon I have a patrol car following me around.

So my mom calls her Lawyer 
who states in his letter A______ has two 
sons they are both african American and one of them is a veteran and works as a security guard.
Of course besides for my hair and some of my facial features i'm as white as the next guy.
Though my brother he's dark like Wesley snipes.
"in lawyer language this means give me a harassment suit I dare you punk"

Well now the force knows one of my secrets. I really hope my doppelganger doesn't go 
and commit a bunch of crimes because if he does guess who the cops will
come after first.

It just saddens me. This is my perception of how justice works
The guy who can hire the lawyer that plays golf with the judge always wins. 

As for me I guess i'm a three course meal 
for these assholes A black Jewish Trans-Thingy 

well until next time paca kroshka paca 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

working the graveyard shift all alone....

So here it is my dear friends Emma Lee vanya 
is Now Lee The security guard. most nights bored out of her wits.
Walking through big empty industrial buildings looking for ghosts .

once upon a time in the fair Town of San Miguel lived 
a Man with a sack of gold and a big mouth......unfortunately
He told a few people with no gold about his big sack of gold.
So They murdered him and everyone else on his property and ran off 
with his gold.

Well that Family has been haunting the town ever since.
 Really though it makes me wonder 
because I have thought about a woman in a white dress....
specifically when I was walking alongside one of the 
buildings for the winery 
Of course I got the feeling she liked me 
though I wonder how she would like EmmaLee  
If she showed up

Would a ghost hate me and all my craziness?
I don't know but it would be cool to have a ghost as a friend.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Just some updates from where I left off

A Nice Life

                                  I had to put the trucking on the back burner 
Due to some health concerns with my brother, but I found another job it's full time plus over time, and now I have a nice little jeep.

                      Also there is a girl who works at one of the stores here. I have a crush on her.

                         Now there is also a dream of a 350 Chevy m body with a cold air intake and a bigger exhaust, preferably a 
Monte Carlo.

                        I guess I picture myself working my ass off 
doing my gaurd job and taking classes at the Junior colleague, I'm thinking business admin or something along those lines. 

                          So in the end I'm looking at a car a job a girl   
Since I have been in paso I haven't really had the urges to dress up 
Though sometimes my Anima takes over. She will usually pop in when I'm tired. Unfortunately I still haven't found the time or place to let her find a static place in my life so she fleets through every now and then. 

                         Another cool thing going on is me and my family going through with my restaurant idea. If it works out the way I vission it to be. I will be able to just open a direct deposit and go back to Israel and kick my feet up. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Forgs and crickets and oak trees

So I made it back to Paso Robles 
"one of my happy places"

Out my window I hear the crickets and frogs in the creek serenading the night.
Out my window I see the oak trees swaying in the breeze, I see the Spanish moss growing off of the branches because the air is so clean.

I took a trip to Franklin pond "the sulfur spring where the locals go" . I shared a twenty four pack with my brothers and spent the whole night laughing. Now my skin is clear and soft. 

In other words It's feels damn good to be back. 

well until next time paca bitches paca