Going balls to the wall all in

Hello my dear friends.

I know it's been a while but I can honestly say I've been busy.

I wanted to get a motorcycle but the old man told me if I get one i'm kicked out of the family.

I wanted to go fishing in Alaska,but I found out it's harder to get on the boats these days.

In short I know exactly why I want to do these potentially self destructive things.

There are a few reasons 

• One I wan't to be a woman or womanish, but I can't so now I have to act hyper masculine or macho
• Two I wan't attention I want to feel like my family cares, note that when I say my family I mean my estranged immediate family. My real family has had my back for the last 9 years.
• Three The ladies I figure ladies dig guys with interesting lives. 

I'll be honest I dig the idea of being a motorcycle rider.

I dig the idea of being a Mercenary man,doing all the crazy stuff 

with the big payoffs. You know Fishing in Alaska or joining a group like black water.

I think it would be awesome to be a cross dressing Helicopter pilot.

Well unfortunately I will have to resign myself  

wearing panties  under nurse scrubs instead of a flight suit.

Or wearing my panties under some other work cloths that isn't

a flight suit.

I only wish they would hurry up with 

the biological 3d printer I see some applications I've been waiting for for about a lifetime.

well until next time paca.